I'm O..K..

I just have to remind myself that I am actually OK. I do breakdown every hour or so, I may look like I'm staring into nothingness at all times, I may have lost that spark in my eyes, but I sure am OK. I know I am. No matter how much I'd try to smile, I know I can't hide the fact that I am hurting and longing inside. It's a fact of life that we certainly have to deal it. I know I'll get over this soon enough. The spark may not return but I know I will be ok. Life has to go on. I guess I am that transparent that no matter how much I try to laugh it off or how big I smile, I still can't hide the fact that I am actually sad. You might be reading this, but it's not meant to make you feel guilty. I surely do miss you but I am happy that you're finally living your dreams. That's something I shouldn't be sad about. I just miss you a whole a damn lot. I know you feel the same way. Like I said, I am OK. I just don't feel like waking up early to go to work, or to dress up extra nicely, or to smile a lot, or talk a lot. But I sure am Ok . . .