try....

doing nothing at work, i onced against surfed my friendster's page out of sheer boredom.i stumbled into my cousins photos at the home page.i cheked all her uploaded photos, and was i really surprised.She knew how to make herself really look presentable, with make up and all.she looked very sophisticated/classy in her get-up, thekind of look i've longed been wanting to achieved.mukha akong manang pag itinabi mo ko sa kanya.this kind of sentiments i share with my boyfriend.and yes, he is right, he can't do anything about that since he's not into girly fashions for obvious reasons.but for me to achieve that look would cost a whole damn lot.i'd have to change my wardrobe and hairstyle plus wear make-up.#%@& i dont even know how to use one. i envy those people who at my age looked very prim and proper and sophisticated..one who can put up a very classy chic look.i am a 21 yr old (girl?lady?) who wears jeans,shirt,sandals/rubber shoes and does not know how to apply foundation. some people would confuse me as 16 yr old HS student because of how i look and definitely because of what i wear. i have come to this point in my age that i'd wanted to look like a real lady.someone who would really achieve that look even if she's just wearing jeans and shirt. i can never achieve that coz i'd look tomboyish in that get up.i wanted to start now but i dont know how...

i am this frustrated (if you could call it frustration...i think it's more of insecurity) kasi sa lahat saming magpipinsan ako lang ang bihis at itsurang bata.ultimo ung pinsan kong nasa grade school mas kikay pa sakin.sa batch namin sa highschool, isa ako sa ayos high school pa rin.sa mga school mates ko nung college...ayun, mukhang highschool pa rin ako kung itatabi sa knila.

where did all this come from?wala..matagal ko ng gustong mag try ng ganun image pero hindi ko talaga magawa....