ME, MYSELF and I

i am getting irritable this days. i am not happy with how i look, with what i have and with what i am geting. i know one should be content with life in order to be happy. so i am now grouchy because i am not content and i am not happy. this is all about ME, MYSELF, and I alone.no one outside those personas are involved. Every waking day is depressing. I get up, take a bath, brush my teeth, and stay infront my open cabinet. I'd spend an hour trying to pick which clothes i should wear...ooops, i rephrase that,i'd spend hours trying to find pieces of clothing that would fit me.Clothes that would not show my bulging tummy.it is depressing dressing up everyday. i cannot close my jeans less i force them to. cannot wear my shirts anymore because i look like a pregnant teenager in them. i cannot even face the mirrors, for all i see are blemishes, pimples, warts, my double chin and my fat ugly face. exercise would definitely be an answer but i'm seeing no result of it. i cannot cut down on my foods because i am already eating less and having less more would kill me.this is a personal battle that i'm losing each waking day.i cannot try to put myself to pieces coz everytime i try i failed doing so just by staring at the mirror.i'm tired of being called fat or chubby. tired of hearing how big my tummy is and how it bulges everytime i sit down.no im not suicidal nor neurotic.i' just down, depressed, sad. i dont what to do to pick myself up so don't ask me how. heaven help me.