Kikay Attempt:Phase 1 & 2

Phase 1:

I have retired wearing my dangling earings for the moment to be replaced by my mom's pearl earrings. Yupz, my mom's all the earings I have in possession are either dangling or beaded. I haven't formally borrowed them I just start wearing them when she wasn't using it. :D Pearl earings for me gave that kind of sophisticated feel. It makes one look like a hot chic. Hehe.

Phase 2:

Who could have ever thought that a simple errand, that of buying a popcorn at the other building, would help me in my senseless quest to look different. We stumbled into an event in GT Towers organized by Nesvita while buying some popcorn. i was hesitatnt at first to try their stalls especially the make-over stall by The Body Shop, but what the heck. How many times would I have the chance to apply a Body Shop make-up on my skin.Yah, pathetic I know. A loser in other words. the first time I tried that make up brand was for Len's debut. Tita Lara let us borrow her kit for the occasion. I liked that bronzed beads thingy that we used.Hehe. make-up never was my forte and I think it never will be, unlike my mom who totally adores them. She would not go out of the house without wearing them. Well, since i wanted to have that physical change I have been raving about, I gave it a hot. And what do I get?I feel like a clown about to perform infront a huge crowd. There wasn't anything that would make me feel more confident and sexy and beautiful, instead I feel stupid. Part of this stupidity was i bought that tint he/she used on my face.Hehe.When will I learn....

try....

doing nothing at work, i onced against surfed my friendster's page out of sheer boredom.i stumbled into my cousins photos at the home page.i cheked all her uploaded photos, and was i really surprised.She knew how to make herself really look presentable, with make up and all.she looked very sophisticated/classy in her get-up, thekind of look i've longed been wanting to achieved.mukha akong manang pag itinabi mo ko sa kanya.this kind of sentiments i share with my boyfriend.and yes, he is right, he can't do anything about that since he's not into girly fashions for obvious reasons.but for me to achieve that look would cost a whole damn lot.i'd have to change my wardrobe and hairstyle plus wear make-up.#%@& i dont even know how to use one. i envy those people who at my age looked very prim and proper and sophisticated..one who can put up a very classy chic look.i am a 21 yr old (girl?lady?) who wears jeans,shirt,sandals/rubber shoes and does not know how to apply foundation. some people would confuse me as 16 yr old HS student because of how i look and definitely because of what i wear. i have come to this point in my age that i'd wanted to look like a real lady.someone who would really achieve that look even if she's just wearing jeans and shirt. i can never achieve that coz i'd look tomboyish in that get up.i wanted to start now but i dont know how...

i am this frustrated (if you could call it frustration...i think it's more of insecurity) kasi sa lahat saming magpipinsan ako lang ang bihis at itsurang bata.ultimo ung pinsan kong nasa grade school mas kikay pa sakin.sa batch namin sa highschool, isa ako sa ayos high school pa rin.sa mga school mates ko nung college...ayun, mukhang highschool pa rin ako kung itatabi sa knila.

where did all this come from?wala..matagal ko ng gustong mag try ng ganun image pero hindi ko talaga magawa....

drained...

feelin drained at the moment.had so many things i want to buy for myself but i don't have the resources to get them.i have spent my whole salary on bills.no, i'm not complaining. i just felt drained, that's all. you paid a lot but still it isn't enough to pay for everything.it's just disturbing.ang hirap ng ganito...plus, add the feeling that you don't look good.haay...sad